Long before the days of Hayley Williams, I had a serious crush on Avril Lavigne. Then she got married to Deryck Whibley from Sum 41, released a crappy album and I lost interest.
Thankfully, to welcome in 2011, Avril has divorced her husband, become totally slutty and triumphantly returned to win my affection once again.
Kind of.
Her new song ‘What The Hell’ premiered on New Year’s Eve and you can now watch the video on YouTube. The song sounds like Lindsay Lohan’s inner monologue set to the music of a Katy Perry track. Perfect to compete in the Ke$ha market.
Check out the lyrics:
You say that I’m messing with your head
All ’cause I was making out with your friends
Love hurts whether it’s right or wrong
I can’t stop ’cause I’m having too much fun
All my life I’ve been good but now, I’m thinking what the Hell
For all the ex husbands and ex boyfriends out there who are still bitter that they took such a big bite of the apple, hearing this on the radio might sting a little. Even though the members of Sum 41 are probably Google searching ‘merits of female circumcision’ round about now, I actually fully support this song and its flawless succubus logic.
Initially it’s a shame that Avril is still recounting dramatised promiscuity like a teenager, but the video is cheeky enough that it’s clearly meant to be bit of fun about doing your own thing, rather than a call to arms for cuckoldry and whorishness.
Plus, if I’d just escaped from a dysfunctional marriage at age 26 and I had a shit-ton of money and fame, I’d be doing a lot worse. Post-marriage Avril feels the need to let her hair down and drunkenly make out with members of the opposite sex, while if that was my reality, you probably wouldn’t even be able to see the orgy for the mushroom cloud of blow. Feminism works.
In absence of a bra, I’m burning my GAP briefs with cartoon snails on right as I type this.
Tags: avril lavigne, deryck whibley, goodbye lullaby, premiere, succubus, what the hell, what the hell video
